I don't know where it all came from but I seriously broke down and bawled my ass off today and I'm not even ashamed to admit it. At first, I felt ridiculous and stupid and angry at myself for crying but when it wouldn't stop and I just gave up and gave in, it felt amazing, like this huge weight's been lifted off my shoulders and I was releasing every little pent up anger, bitterness, sadness, etc. from my body, mind, and soul. I honestly can't even remember the last time I cried. I didn't cry at my grandfather's funeral, I didn't cry at my aunt's funeral, I shed a few tears at my stepfather's funeral but only because my mom was bawling... I never cried even when some of my friends cried FOR ME at times...
Then today... I cried. No, I cried and cried like a newborn baby. And I didn't hide it, I told my friends... because it felt amazing to just let it all go... It felt so good that I may go cry some more now.
Words that randomly started it all, from a song I've never heard before:
아무렇지 않은 척
웃어야 하나요
나 아무렇지 않은 척
하루가 지나가네요
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