I was exchanging some texts with a friend on Friday night (because I don't really talk on the phone) about how we both had no plans for the night and here's kind of how it went:
Me: Oh I don't really do anything 90% of the time here in NorCal.
Him: Dude you should call me up whenever you want to hang out.
Me: Yea, I don't really initiate plans with people. If my friends call me and I'm free, I'll go out to hang out unless it sounds really uninteresting but I almost never initiate the plans.
Him: Why??? You need to initiate man.
The reason I don't initiate comes down to 2 main reasons.
1. I really just don't mind staying home, I always find something to keep myself busy and these days, I can use and want the study time.
2. The subject of this post - MY PERSONALITY.
Now I decided to blog about this because I sometimes hear it from my friends that I never call to hang out with them, especially when I'm in LA. I'm sure some of my friends think that I just don't want to hang out with them or I'm busy or I'm too popular and don't have time for them (my favorite). These, especially the last one, couldn't be more wrong. It's just my personality to not really initiate plans with people unless I'm deathly bored or have something specific in mind. I almost never have any weekend plans and it just comes down to who, if anyone, asks me to hang out first. So please don't be or act butthurt if I'm in town and don't call/initiate to see you. People usually know when I'm in town through my Facebook page. I know that may sound a little ridiculous but if you're a FB user and honestly never visit my FB page, then that probably also means that you don't really care whether I'm in town or not so I think it's fair.
My thoughts have a tendency to run wild so this whole post got me thinking... THIS is probably why I've almost always ended up dating girls who are the initiators or the "aggressors" as some would say. Combine my frustrating(?) personality with the fact that I'm clueless with girls naturally leads me to date girls who are more direct and assertive. Examples? I never even kissed my 1st girlfriend... and my 2nd girlfriend had to literally sit on me and kissed me and later told me she thought I would never kiss her first... HAHA anyways...
This post is kind of a half-hearted apology if I've made you feel like I don't want to hang out with you. Half-hearted because I don't want to make anyone feel that way but it's also my personality and makes me who I am...
Oh, but girls who are TOO aggressive, that's just a little scary/intimidating and makes me not want to hang out with you.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Anti-Smoking Campaign
So I've been on this mini anti-smoking rant lately to some of my friends. I think it started after having a serious discussion with my friend about the sad fact that non-smokers seem to be a rarity now, especially in K-town. But I'm not writing to say smoking is good or bad, I'm writing to say having a preference for non-smokers is exactly that, a PREFERENCE.
I feel like some people think that I (or anyone who prefers to have non-smoking gfs/bfs) am passing judgment on them because they smoke and this couldn't be more wrong. Some of my closest friends smoke and they are some of the kindest, awesomest people I've ever known and I love them dearly. Does it bother me that they smoke? No. Do I think any less of them because they smoke? Absolutely not. Do I wish they quit smoking? Yes, because I want all my friends to be as healthy as they can be. But as soon as I say something like "I don't want to date a girl that smokes", some people get all defensive and fight back saying things like "smoking doesn't make them bad" or "but they're really nice and smart" or "don't judge them because they smoke" and on and on and on... My response to this is: ALL I SAID WAS I DON'T WANT TO DATE A SMOKER! I never said anything about smokers being bad people or not nice or not smart or that I was judging them! I just personally really don't like the smell or taste of cigarettes so I would rather not have to smell or taste it if possible. It's my preference.
So don't get all unnecessarily offended when I'm just stating my preference. What's the difference between saying "I don't want to date a smoker" and "I don't want to date someone with a missing arm/leg" and "I don't want to date a videogamer"?! They're all preferences people have and it's not wrong to have them. (I threw in the last one because I used to be a big videogamer and have heard girls say that before hahaha).
You know... this used to be a rule of mine. I have NEVER had a girlfriend that smoked. I recently debated letting it slide because it seems like almost everyone I meet now smoke and some of them are awesome and I find them interesting... but I decided that this would be me settling and caving in and I don't want that... so I'm still going to keep it a rule.
On a somewhat related note: I am SO digging girls with short hairstyles these days. Another rule of mine used to be that a girl needed to have straight, long hair... but that's gone completely out the window. A girl who looks good with short hair takes the spot now so rules can change.
But the non-smoker rule is here to stay.
So short-haired non-smoking girl = automatic +2 points.
Damn, I sound really picky.
I am.
I feel like some people think that I (or anyone who prefers to have non-smoking gfs/bfs) am passing judgment on them because they smoke and this couldn't be more wrong. Some of my closest friends smoke and they are some of the kindest, awesomest people I've ever known and I love them dearly. Does it bother me that they smoke? No. Do I think any less of them because they smoke? Absolutely not. Do I wish they quit smoking? Yes, because I want all my friends to be as healthy as they can be. But as soon as I say something like "I don't want to date a girl that smokes", some people get all defensive and fight back saying things like "smoking doesn't make them bad" or "but they're really nice and smart" or "don't judge them because they smoke" and on and on and on... My response to this is: ALL I SAID WAS I DON'T WANT TO DATE A SMOKER! I never said anything about smokers being bad people or not nice or not smart or that I was judging them! I just personally really don't like the smell or taste of cigarettes so I would rather not have to smell or taste it if possible. It's my preference.
So don't get all unnecessarily offended when I'm just stating my preference. What's the difference between saying "I don't want to date a smoker" and "I don't want to date someone with a missing arm/leg" and "I don't want to date a videogamer"?! They're all preferences people have and it's not wrong to have them. (I threw in the last one because I used to be a big videogamer and have heard girls say that before hahaha).
You know... this used to be a rule of mine. I have NEVER had a girlfriend that smoked. I recently debated letting it slide because it seems like almost everyone I meet now smoke and some of them are awesome and I find them interesting... but I decided that this would be me settling and caving in and I don't want that... so I'm still going to keep it a rule.
On a somewhat related note: I am SO digging girls with short hairstyles these days. Another rule of mine used to be that a girl needed to have straight, long hair... but that's gone completely out the window. A girl who looks good with short hair takes the spot now so rules can change.
But the non-smoker rule is here to stay.
So short-haired non-smoking girl = automatic +2 points.
Damn, I sound really picky.
I am.
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