Weeklies?

For the most part, there is usually a topic/theme/subject to my posts but I'm debating just changing to a weekly update on my random thoughts of the week because... well... I had a lot of thoughts this week and wanted to get them down. But once I start writing, I tend to go on and on with my thoughts so I better stick to one topic for now.

Human Nature? - I think it's interesting that I find it so wasteful and 아까워 spending money on myself but I can easily blow through that amount and more when I'm spending it with my loved ones. I've debated buying myself an iPad for a while now but still think about how it costs ~$500 and can't get myself to pull the trigger, but I can easily spend multiple times that amount over a single weekend for a great friend's birthday?! Is the iPad worth that amount? MAYBE, depending on how much use you get out of it. Is the weekend celebrating with my loved ones worth that amount? DEFINITELY.

I used to save almost everything I made. Then one day when I felt like everything fell apart, all I had was money in my bank account and nothing else to show for it. I know some of you are probably thinking, "that's a bad thing? sounds like you're showing off." First, I'm not talking about some ridiculous amount of money here so relax. But more importantly, do you know what it feels like to have something but have no one to share it with? My best friend, who's obviously much wiser than I am, once told me, "we make and have money so that we can enjoy life, and enjoying life is spending/sharing/making memories with our loved ones." Let's assume you somewhat agree with this. Now imagine waking up one day and feeling like you have no loved ones. What does that money do for you now?

A lot of things in life work in cycles: the weather, the economy, etc. I believe this also applies to money. We'll go through times when everything seems to work out and we feel lucky, but we'll also go through times when nothing seems to work out in our favor. I love being able to treat my friends when I can but I also believe that there will be a day when I can really use and need a friend to buy me a Subway sandwich. Will you be there in my time of need?

I know a VERY few people who can answer 'yes' to this question without hesitation. This thought makes me sad... and happy...

2011

I guess it's time for the obligatory new year's resolutions. We all make them, most of us don't accomplish all of them, some of us even forget what our resolutions were by the end of the year.

So here's mine that come to mind, in order of importance(?) and degree of difficulty from 1~10 (1 being the easiest).

1. Pay off my mom's house. [2]

2. My Schedule
Minus the occasional weekends in LA, stay on this schedule until my test in June. This is more like a necessity for me to actually pass my test AND learn more Mandarin without just half-assing it. [10]

3. Be more direct, straightforward, and open. I've always been a private person who keeps almost everything to myself and deal with thoughts/emotions alone so I really admire people who are direct and honest, people who don't talk in round-about-ways and aren't afraid to say they like/dislike something. [7]

4. Take more risks and don't get too comfortable. I'm young and ambitious. I should take myself out of my comfort zone from time to time, try new things, and take more (smart) risks in life while I can. [6]

5. Work out and stay active in a smarter way. This doesn't mean exercise more or less, but exercise smarter, listen to my body, and stop being too stubborn. [5]

6. Start dating. Maybe. I do miss having someone from time to time... but I still question my ability to be a great person/fit for anyone. [10]


Good Bye 2010.

벌써 2년... 그땐조금이랬었지...

Self Sabotage

Here I go again...

I seem to do this repeatedly - some good event happens and I initially have a pretty good feeling about it that makes me want the event to happen again. Then I sit and over-think it to death and end up spinning it negatively in my head over and over that I eventually end up convincing myself out of the so-called good event happening again. SELF-SABOTAGE. The most frustrating part about it is that I KNOW this is happening and I still do it. ALL my friends tell me that I need to stop doing this to myself and just go with the flow of things. It's easier said than done.

Frustrating. My personality, my brain, the fact that I think too damn much for my own good. One of the main reasons I keep myself so busy is because being idle makes me think too much about things...

I'm going to try my best to break out of this. I really will.

One of Many...

I have many very attractive female friends, both on the inside AND outside.

Combine this fact with this fact: I'm single.

This situation leads many people to ask me why I don't make an effort to date any of my aforementioned attractive female friends. I constantly get asked "why don't you go for her or her or her?"

Now there are MANY reasons why I choose not to date right now and this is just one of many. It's not the biggest, just one of many reasons.

Reason: I value our friendship too much to take that chance and potentially ruin what might be a long, great friendship.

Like I always say, I'm very skeptical of love so why would I attempt something that I don't even think I can succeed in and lose a friend along the way? I'd rather we stay friends and enjoy the joys that friendship has to offer than end up like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bjy_qKPTX-g

So stop asking.

배려심

Some people just really have no consideration for others. They just do as they please and do whatever they want without thinking about how their actions or inactions will affect anyone else. If you're that type of person and I come to believe this to be true about you, then it's too late for you and we'll never be friends.

One of my friends says I'm an ass, but my friend also says I'm a considerate ass. I hope this is true. Not the ass part but the considerate part. :D

남을배려할줄아는마음... 좀배워.

이젠

늘 혼자 외면하고 혼자 후회하고
늘 휘청거리면서 아닌척을 하고...



이젠 그만할래...

Almost December

I can't believe we're more than half way into November. I look back on the year and ask myself, "What have I done with my life this year?" Sure, I finally started boxing and enrolled/completed an introductory Mandarin course but did I take steps toward becoming a better man? A better person?

My coworker recently asked me, "Why do you keep yourself so busy? Why do you box and hit the gym? Why do you take Mandarin? Why are you trying to become a better person when we're all just going to die anyway?" I honestly couldn't think of a quick, solid answer to his question...

Maybe the better question to ask myself is not whether or not I've become a better person but why I spend so much time and energy trying to better myself...

I kind of have an idea as to why I am the way I am. But the quick answer I give you now is that I find keeping myself busy to be a better solution than keeping myself idle.


"While we are postponing, life speeds by."
- Seneca