To SEE the Big Picture

In trading, we have a "% winners" number. This is the percentage of profitable positions you have in your book/portfolio during a specified time frame. Now a 60% winners is VERY good given how some of us hold positions in over a thousand names. This usually leads to a very good year and a very happy trader. 


Now outside of trading, why do we focus so much on the other 40%, or even a much smaller number like 10%, 5%, or even 1% that's considered negative? 


I am and have always been my own harshest critic and always try to hold myself up to a very high standard. Some have called me a perfectionist and some have called me an elitist but to be honest, all it really means is that I stress myself out way too much trying to bring that 40% down to 0%. I've lived this way for a while now and probably won't change but what I really am trying to change is holding other people up to the same standard. Instead of focusing on the things people aren't doing, I want to focus more on the big picture. If someone makes you happy 9 times out of 10, is there a need to focus so much on that 1 time when you're not perfect yourself? When someone is a positive influence in your life 95% of the time, why dwell and stress about the other 5% when there's no guarantee that anyone in this world can make you happier?


Looking back at my past relationships, I was incredibly selfish and immature... I apologize to everyone and I'm grateful for all the lessons I've learned. I also apologize in advance if my selfishness and immaturity surfaces from time to time. I'm trying. 


한 장 잎사귀에 사로잡이면, 나무를 볼수 없고, 한 그루 나무에 사로잡이면 숲을 볼수 없다. 어디에도 마음을 두지않고, 돌아볼지도 말고, 전체를 보아라. 그 것이 아마도 '본다' 는 것이겠지. 

(For my friends who said my blog is racially discriminatory due to all the Korean, here's a rough translation. "If you focus on one leaf, you can't see the tree. If you focus on one tree, you can't see the forest. Don't focus anywhere, don't turn around, and see the whole. That is probably what it means to 'see'")

Pattern

I've been thinking... If there really is a pattern, then it probably and simply goes like this:

[beginning] -> [story] -> [end]

I'm guessing the [beginning] and [end] are pretty similar in all patterns.




So I intend to write the most beautiful [story]

and therefore, create the most unique and beautiful pattern to date.

Random Funny Chat with College Buddy

James: I thought you might like this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uU86MQcd_sQ&feature=feedf

me: ?

James: She's like an Incheon Representative (Gov't)

but also a popular writer

i randomly came across it

but thought her word of advice was pretty good.

me: why do you think I'll like it?

(watching it now)

James: cuz you're so driven to succeed

me: hmmmm

me: it makes sense, what she's saying

James: yea she said it so succinctly

so i liked it

me: yea... concept is simple and easy to understand

putting it to practice is the difficult part

James: it made me think of ur retarded thumb

after practicing bowling so much

(that nigga's crazy)

hahah

me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
me: i'm glad you remember my bowling thumb shekki

James: haha yea i was like...damn that nigga's "ba bo gat chee mee chul suh"

정신차리자

The reason why some of my blog posts are in Korean is that I feel like it's a more emotional language, if that makes any sense... I think certain Korean words carry more emotion and depth but maybe I'm just saying this because I'm a FOB... But really, what's the English word for 정??? Anyways, this post isn't about languages, this is just a warning that the meat of the post is in Korean. With that said...

오늘은 진짜 이상한 날이다. 잊혀진줄 알았던 감정들이 돌아오고, 고친줄 알았던 철 없는 생각들도 잠시 돌아왔다... 그야마 잠시동안만 머물러서 다행이지...

오늘은 진짜 웃을라고 노력한 날... 그래도 지금은 행복한것갔다...

내일 부터 다시 정신차리자.

Letters from a Wise Woman

My mom usually writes me a letter every couple months and they always make me think about myself.

She always encourages me and makes me feel like she's proud of me. She also always tells me to be happy and to never make money my goal... But what's crazy is that it feels like she still sees right through me even though we haven't lived together in about 11 years and that's a long time to be apart and still know someone inside out. I feel this way because she still gives me advice on my way of life (even though she doesn't see it) and points out parts of my personality that I should try to change or work on (even though I try my best to hide it).

Anyways, here's the end excerpt from the most recent letter:

"태이야, 너는 외롭게 살지말고 친구도 많이 만나면서 폭넓은 대화도 나누고 넓은 시야를 가지렴.
그리고 무엇보다도 건강이 우선이니 라면 그만 먹고 영양식으로 잘 챙겨먹도록 해라.
엄마는 네가 가슴이 따뜻한 사람이면 좋겠다. 사랑한다 내 아들."

I'm grateful to have been raised and continue to be raised by such a wise woman. It's a constant battle to remain modest and humble with all my awesomeness (^^v) but her letters always remind me that I have many, many flaws.

Advice to Lovers

해본적 있나요 by KCM

지금 사랑하는 그 사람 있나요?
사랑하고 있다면 (후회없이) 아낌없이 정말 잘해줘요
한시도 슬프지 않게 혼자서 외롭지 않게 해요 (곁에 없어도)
혼자라고 느끼지 않게 해줘요 (좋은 추억 많이 만들어줘요)
가슴 벅차오르게 (함께 할 땐 소중함을 몰라요) 이제야 깨달아요
때론 눈물나게 가슴 아플 때 내 사랑에 조금 지칠 때 맘에도 없는 말로 큰 상처 주지 마요
서로 사랑하는 거 그게 사랑이란 걸 늦게 알게 되면 더 아픕니다
이제껏 흘러내린 내 눈물보다 더 많은 눈물 흘린대도
가슴 속에 새겨진 내 사랑이라면 눈물 없는 사랑은
세상에 없다는 걸 처음 받은 사랑 잊지말아요.
많이 정신없이 바쁜 일 있어도 문자나 전화쯤은 (자주 해요)
사소한 실수는 웃고 넘겨요 과거에 집착말아요. 누구와 절대 비교 말아요
(따듯하게) 작은 고민까지도 함께해줘요 (둘만의 믿음 잃지 말아요)
항상 기댈 수 있게 (갈대처럼 흔들리지 말아요) 한결같은 맘으로
때론 눈물나게 가슴 아플 때 내 사랑에 조금 지칠 때 맘에도 없는 말로 큰 상처 주지 마요
서로 사랑하는 걸 그게 사랑이란 걸 늦게 알게 되면 더 아픕니다
이제껏 흘러내린 내 눈물보다 더 많은 눈물 흘린대도
가슴 속에 새겨준 내 사랑이라면 눈물 없는 사랑은
세상에 없다는 걸 처음 받은 사랑 잊지말아요
그땐 몰랐어요 사랑인걸 이젠 너무 늦은 건가요
많이 어렸나 봐요 사랑인 줄 모르고 늦게 알아서 정말 미안해요.




네, 해본적 있어요. 그리고 웃을수 있어요... :)

Thoughts.

Not typical of my usual postings but more of a recap of what's been going on and quick thoughts that are running through my mind.

1. I have yet another exam tomorrow, series 56. Shouldn't be a problem but still, I feel like I take too many exams in life. Oh, and updating your blog the day before an exam always feels right.

2. Had lunch with my older sis today (really good friend who I call my older sis, I confide in her and tell her everything). We used to work together at my old company and she's the only person in my life, other than my mom, who tells it to me straight, even if it's negative. She told me today, "I don't understand why they chose you for that job. When you're working, you're an incredibly bitter bitch and mean." The funny thing is, she's the one who hired me at my old company haha. A couple other things she told me before that come to mind right now - "You go from being incredible hulk to incredible sulk", "You can be incredibly charming when you want to be but you choose to be a dick" and "As I watched you play X-Box, I asked myself 'how does he ever pull women?'". I love her.

3. The human mind is so so fickle. I should be appreciative and content that I'm having a really good month at work but instead, I'm still kicking myself over the day I cost myself $120k and think, "it could have been even more!" I hate this about myself.

4. Vegas in a couple of days. I was initially nonchalant about it but now I'm excited. I'm going to secretly use the trip as a celebration of my new job and passing my exam.

5. I live my life in a very structured, robotic way. My nickname is a robot... So let's try to be a little crazy and out there from time to time.

6. I recently realized that being nice and humble really doesn't accomplish much. People will say you're a good person for it but those are just words. I think I've had more people take advantage of it (not sure if it's done on purpose or not) than something good happen from it. So I'm just going to be not-so-nice and say I'm awesome.

7. I've been trying to be more open and direct because I really don't like wasting my time. But I understand that this may sometimes make me come off differently than I intend to. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, I'm just trying to save time.

8. I'm still very black and white when it comes to people. If I decide that I don't like you, it's too late and it's hopeless for you. I don't care if you realize it late.

9. I didn't forget about blogging my ghetto car wash experience. I just need some time to get in the right mindset and mentally put myself back in that environment.

10. 이상하게 끌려. 그냥 너가 누구지 알고싶은데 너무 시간이 없는것갔다. 어짜피 모르는 사람, 좋으면 낭이고 아니면 남인데...