Real Life

Just got back from LA yesterday. The topic of this entry was on my mind all Sunday/Monday and I wanted to write it as soon as I got back while the thoughts were still clear but I really needed to get some rest before going back to work... so let me just jump right in now.

This past weekend, I FELT change. It's something I always knew was happening and will happen, it's inevitable... but this is the first time I actually FELT it in a big way and it caught me by surprise.

MY FRIENDS ARE ALL GROWING UP, GETTING OLDER, AND MOVING FORWARD WITH THEIR LIVES.

As we grow older, our priorities naturally shift, they have to. I felt like the days of "friendship all day, everyday" is now behind us as our careers, relationships, responsibilities, etc. take precedence. I'm obviously not saying we can never have those days again but an overwhelming bittersweet feeling took hold of me...

Bitter because I relied on my group of friends so much over the past couple years as my escape and they all helped me so much when I was down... and I realize now that I'd have to pick and choose the right times to see and hang out with them, maybe individually, rather than expecting to see everyone all at once every single time I came down.

Sweet because I genuinely believe they are really growing up and moving on to bigger and better things. The road may be bumpy at times but a step forward is a step nonetheless... I also believe that not hanging out with my friends as often doesn't say anything about the strength of our friendship.

To my friends: Some of you are one of the few constants in my life - no matter how little I see or talk to you, you are always there for me and I will always be there for you. Some of you are pleasant surprises - I never expected such kindness from you when you don't even know me well. Some of you are just friends - I realize now that you will never be that great friend I had hoped you would be, no matter how hard I try. But all of you are my friends... and as I now hope to also move forward with my life, I will try my best to appreciate the times we spend together as much as possible because they may be fleeting as we grow beautifully old together.

And as my friend told me this past weekend - "I don't want you to become just another memory."